TEXT 2
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
[1] 1) People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal,
where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2) People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote
because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
[5] 3) When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right!
What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4) When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell
would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where
are they?
[10 5) When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to
come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6) People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya
sunshine?
7) When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has
[15] never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been
something before it, couldn't be new.
8) When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing
anyone ever does!!! What can you do that`s longer?
9) When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the
[20] bus came, would I be standing here??
(www.boardofwisdom.com) (Unknown author) Accessed on March 12th, 2013.
Mark the correct alternative which contains the correct answer for the question, according to the text.
TEXT 1
The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter
[1] Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any
cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and
increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in
the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy,
[5] diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this
priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.
Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body.
Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that
your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Paul E. McGhee, Ph D.
[10] Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more
dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor
lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded,
focused, and alert.
With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a
[15] tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and
supporting both physical and emotional health.
Laughter is good for your health:
− Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension
and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
[20] − Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and
increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your
resistance to disease.
− Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good
chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even
[25] temporarily relieve pain.
− Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and
increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other
cardiovascular problems.
Laughter is the Best Medicine (www.helpguide.org) Accessed on March 12th, 2013.
The text says that:
TEXT 1
The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter
[1] Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any
cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and
increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in
the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy,
[5] diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this
priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.
Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body.
Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that
your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Paul E. McGhee, Ph D.
[10] Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more
dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor
lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded,
focused, and alert.
With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a
[15] tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and
supporting both physical and emotional health.
Laughter is good for your health:
− Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension
and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
[20] − Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and
increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your
resistance to disease.
− Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good
chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even
[25] temporarily relieve pain.
− Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and
increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other
cardiovascular problems.
Laughter is the Best Medicine (www.helpguide.org) Accessed on March 12th, 2013.
Mark the alternative which represents the correct grammar use of the vocabulary in the text.
TEXT 1
The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter
[1] Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any
cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and
increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in
the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy,
[5] diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this
priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.
Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body.
Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that
your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Paul E. McGhee, Ph D.
[10] Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more
dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor
lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded,
focused, and alert.
With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a
[15] tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and
supporting both physical and emotional health.
Laughter is good for your health:
− Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension
and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
[20] − Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and
increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your
resistance to disease.
− Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good
chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even
[25] temporarily relieve pain.
− Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and
increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other
cardiovascular problems.
Laughter is the Best Medicine (www.helpguide.org) Accessed on March 12th, 2013.
The text says that:
TEXT 1
The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter
[1] Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any
cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and
increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in
the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy,
[5] diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this
priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.
Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body.
Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that
your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Paul E. McGhee, Ph D.
[10] Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more
dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor
lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded,
focused, and alert.
With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a
[15] tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and
supporting both physical and emotional health.
Laughter is good for your health:
− Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension
and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
[20] − Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and
increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your
resistance to disease.
− Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good
chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even
[25] temporarily relieve pain.
− Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and
increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other
cardiovascular problems.
Laughter is the Best Medicine (www.helpguide.org) Accessed on March 12th, 2013.
Mark the alternative with the best substitutes the sentences from the text.
TEXT 2
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
[1] 1) People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal,
where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2) People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote
because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
[5] 3) When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right!
What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4) When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell
would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where
are they?
[10 5) When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to
come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6) People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya
sunshine?
7) When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has
[15] never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been
something before it, couldn't be new.
8) When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing
anyone ever does!!! What can you do that`s longer?
9) When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the
[20] bus came, would I be standing here??
(www.boardofwisdom.com) (Unknown author) Accessed on March 12th, 2013.
It is correct to say that the text: